Getting the paperwork and payment sorted out for my independent cam girl account seemed so difficult at the time, my english was not very good, but with time and patience I got it all ready. The account was approved and I managed to buy a second hand webcam to make it official, I was ready to roll.
Being online was not as easy for me anymore, being “your own boss” can at times make you relax too much, the procrastination began. At the studio I was online 6 days a week, at home I was lucky if I was on 6 days a month.
November was my first month starting by myself, I made a total of 13460 Tokens, ($673), way more than any amount I’d ever earned at the studio. In December I made in the whole month 9717 Tokens ($485) and just today checking my stats I realized I disappeared after December, it wasn’t until June 2013 I returned. If I’m completely honest I think I just ran out of money. Some of my friends would send me some cash via Western Union to help me pay for University, books, etc. I was never 100% comfortable with that.
The only thing I can tell you is that I wasn’t good at completing tasks, the average money I’d made monthly working at my parents house was $300. I hated being online there, sometimes I’d be in the middle of a show and my dad would knock on the door asking me to cut the onions for the salad at lunch, other times I had to disconnect my webcam because someone was trying to get into my room, there was absolutely no privacy, it made me sad knowing I couldn’t get online with any peace and I didn’t even want to try, of course no one in my family knew what was I up to when I locked myself in the room.
I was close to being caught so many times, so getting online was a combination of adrenaline and worries, perhaps a bit of excitement. The most difficult part was taking a private show, I didn’t want to be naked doing, well… stuff and have someone knocking on my door asking me to make lunch or go to the store. I kind of stopped taking the job seriously and treated it like a hobby.
Here is a screenshot I found from back in the day…
Since I can remember, I always dreamed about visiting the USA, I’ve been writing about it on my diaries since the age of 12. I promised one day I’d take myself to Disneyland, Hollywood, Universal Studios and would make a way to live there permanently. I was in love with America even before I set a foot there. Meeting so many people on MyFreeCams from my dream country was fascinating, I’d always ask them to send me pictures or describe what places are like, it was exciting for me just to even dream of visiting one day.
I had a friend from primary school that was working in Los Angeles and asked me to come and see what America is like. I didn’t have much to pay for the trip, but one of my friends from the site encouraged me to do it, he wasn’t a rich guy but he was a life saver multiple times. He even paid for my visa fees. I don’t know if any Americans readers could possibly imagine what asking for a visa to visit a country is like.
When you apply for a visa you show up at the embassy at a certain time, to see a line of hundreds of people filled with dreams, expectations and excitement, and there I was joining everyone’s hopes. Being in that line was one of the most scary things I’ve done, (I’m even shaking right now remembering what it was like). You can tell everyone is on their best behavior, wearing the best clothes to make a good impression. My dad took me to the embassy and waited outside, he kept telling me to be calm but I couldn’t stop shaking. I was so afraid my dreams would fade away by an officer rejecting my visa.
I finally got asked to come inside after waiting in the line on the street for over 30 minutes I was officially in USA territory. The first thing I noticed was the American flag waving in the wind, I started tearing up, I never felt so close to my dream. I waited in 3 different lines, one line to give my pictures away, another line for them to take my fingerprints and the last one to speak to the immigration consul. Everyone was quiet, the energy was heavy as I saw people coming one by one holding folders with a bunch of papers they don’t even ask for, I saw people crying after their visas got denied and other’s celebrating that they can take their trip to America, not knowing how my visit to the embassy was going to end gave me a lot of anxiety.
After 2 hours of standing in lines I walked to talk to the consul, she was a scary looking blond woman that asked many questions I wasn’t prepared to answer. I stuttered with every answer, my whole body was shaking, I was terrified. She noticed that and gave me a paper back with my passport. My visa got declined, it was the one of the saddest moments I remember. I left covered in tears, I cried non stop for the rest of the day.
When I got home I put on Fox TV. and watched that movie Phat Girlz, then cried even more. I felt defeated, rejected, discriminated, angry for being born where I was born, frustrated and any other bad feeling you can imagine I was having. Sadness was all over me. The following days I read every single article on the internet about how to get a tourist visa without failing. I even found out people sell books and can give courses about how to get a visa approved, it seemed a bit extreme, I mean… how do you even do that? The only part that made sense to me from all the articles I read was, next time you go to the embassy make sure your situation is different, so I changed things.
Exactly a week after my visa got declined I applied again, but this time I applied with my dad, we went together, did the same lines and same process. The immigration consul was a guy this time, he was from India, I remember his accent. He was very kind, asked a few regular questions, took my passport away and told me my visa will be ready in about two weeks. I was paralyzed and kept staring at him for a few seconds, my visa just got approved! My dad had to pull me so I got out of the way. Three steps later I screamed and started jumping around. I’ve been waiting years for that opportunity and now it was a reality, I cried for about 2 hours, but this time those were happy tears.
On December 2013 I took a plane with Spirit Airlines at Aeropuerto Internacional El Dorado, I was on my way to Los Angeles, making a stop in Fort Lauderdale. The whole experience was shocking, I never saw that many people speaking english, we all hear scary stories about Colombian tourists treated badly when arriving in the USA, but none of that happened. America always treated me well.
The immigration officer was very polite, he spoke Spanish so I was way more comfortable, I was there tearing up from excitement with every step I took. Then walked to get my next plane to California. The flight to Los Angeles seemed short, I got there and my friend was ready to pick me up. I remember the first time I saw a highway, it left me speechless, the roads, the cars, the houses, everything was awesome. That month I slept on the floor the whole time, there were no more beds but I was happy. I just wanted to have a vacation so I walked around every mall, ate at McDonalds & Subway everyday and made friends with the cleaners at the mall next to where I was staying. It was one of the happiest months of my life, and by the way. I made it to Universal Studios for the first time, that place is filled with the sweetest memories.
Being in the USA for such a short time opened my eyes to new possibilities, I realize how much more there is for me and I made myself a promise that when I went back to Colombia I’d leave my parents house and take my job seriously. I had a taste of the life of my dreams and wanted to get more of it. I felt so safe in America and always thought there’s nothing else you can ask for if you are living there, everything is beautiful, the people are so polite, to me everything was a perfect fit. I had to be back.
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